Not only women love ears. Every man loves when next to him is a sociable, interesting and boring girl. But it is not so easy to find topics for conversation when a man is silent, or vice versa, chatting about a girl being uninteresting or incomprehensible. How to get an interlocutor closer to oneself, arouse his interest and learn more about him through conversation is a question that worries many girls.
The subtleties of virtual communication
On the one hand, virtual communication is much more complicated than real: you can’t see the person’s face, you can’t see his reaction, he has time to think and change his answer, lie or leave him, sometimes you have to wait a long time for a response message. On the other hand, you also have time to find the answer and formulate the right idea and hide your secret emotions, and the bonus of electronic correspondence is the ability to send photos, videos or audio that will be interesting to the interlocutor.
Virtual communication occupies a huge place in the modern world, for him there are a bunch of messengers and social networks:
- In contact with;
- Classmates;
- Viber
- Whatsapp;
- Tinder;
- Telegram et al.
Correspondence can be everywhere, but it is much more important to know the correct tactics of correspondence with a guy.
Conversation start
Starting a conversation with a guy is not as easy as it seems, regardless of whether you personally know or just found your favorite profile on the social network. Many girls believe that writing to a guy first is below their dignity, while others calmly write first. Opinions are divided and the question arises - to write or not to write?
If a guy, roughly speaking, isn’t yet aware of your existence, then definitely worth writing. You don’t even have to think about it. Your happiness is in your hands and the man will definitely appreciate that you risked taking the first step.
If you have already met and corresponded with a man, but he doesn’t write first anymore, before writing to him, you must first understand the reason for the lull.
The reasons may be different, especially if the man:
- Not self-confident and simply afraid to take a step;
- He waits on purpose, gives an opportunity to prove himself;
- Busy with important things;
- Has communication problems, unforeseen force majeure;
- He does not like correspondence;
- Lost interest or found another object of sighing;
- Angry or offended.
Writing first or not is a personal decision, but we recommend that you write and act according to circumstances. Analyze his reaction to the message and decide what to do next, but do not be intrusive. You can write to a guy once, but you should not write every day if there is no answer, and the message has been read.
Another question is how to start such a conversation? If you are already familiar, there are several options:
- The simple “How are you?” Is a manifestation of attention and participation. The question will cause the man to want to talk about how he is doing. The “How are you?” Option sounds emotionless, this question is better not to use.
- More inventive: “Hello, how are you? I have such a story happened ... ".The main thing is to intrigue, and then it's up to the imagination, the story should be interesting and exciting.
- Just throw him an interesting article or picture from the Internet, news or publication, wait for a reaction, and then at ease continue the conversation.
If you want to meet a man on the Internet, you can do differently:
- Sloo: “Hi, are we not familiar? I think I saw you somewhere. ” The man will begin to make guesses and assumptions, and when it turns out that you have "confused him" with someone, he will not want to stop an interesting conversation and will try to find out more about you.
- Leave a witty comment under his publication on an abstract topic, or express your original opinion about his profile picture, status, personal data. The man will be attracted by the attention shown and he will gladly continue the correspondence.
- Another option is to talk to a VK guy. Just write “Hello. Interested in your profile. Do you mind talking? ” Simplicity and ease - the key to a good relationship.
Avoid starting a message with flirting, make it clear that you can’t be called frivolous and that you are primarily interested in the person.
Do not overload the message with emoticons and stickers, many men are annoyed. Try not to use affectionate and diminutive treatment for no reason and write as competently as possible to arouse respect from the interlocutor.
Questions and topics for conversation
The first step has been taken, the conversation is started, and then everything starts to fade away. To prevent this from happening, you need to constantly maintain a conversation with questions, discussions and interesting remarks. Ask the guy something about him or you can talk with the guy on topics that interest him.
In the search for topics for conversation in correspondence, you should turn to the hobbies, interests and hobbies of the guy. Among them there may be both general and unusual ones that you have never heard of, ask about them. You can turn to topics that are always interesting:
- Favorite multimedia: films, series, music, books. There is always something to discuss, especially in social networks, where you can calculate literally everything in your profile;
- General interest groups and communities;
- Travels;
- Novelties of music, cinema, literature, video games;
- Latest city news;
- Sport;
- Common acquaintances and friends.
Lingering on one topic is not worth it - change and experiment. In addition to the topics for talking with a guy, there are universal questions that can be asked by chance. For example:
- How are you with the weather? We are cool, but I want to put on my sneakers and run out for a walk. By the way, are you running?
- I don’t know what to play. Advise an interesting strategy / RPG / simulator, if not difficult. What is your favourite game?
- I want to go somewhere. Where did you go last time?
- I wonder what to cook for dinner today. What would you prefer?
- Do you have a younger brother or sister?
- I collect fruit stickers. Do you collect any unusual collections?
- Do you like cats or dogs more?
- Do you know how to ride a bike?
- I am afraid of darkness. Do you have any unusual phobias?
- I'm allergic to avocados, so insulting ... Do you have any allergies?
When asking a question, try to suggest whether the guy will be interested in answering, as well as whether you will be able to answer the same question honestly and fully if he asks you one. If you really care about the answer to the question and you put some subtext into it, veil so that the guy does not guess. Everyone loves questions that allow them to reveal their identity, so try to ask a guy really interesting questions.
A little advice for the future: open a document with the questions and answers of the guy, so as not to get into a mess and ask the same question twice. It also helps to remember important information.
It makes sense to have a separate document for your answers to his questions - this will not only not “miss” if you are a little disingenuous, but will also allow you later to analyze and understand how much you are interested in it and what exactly.
How to finish the correspondence?
The correct completion of the dialogue is the key to its continuation. If you want to communicate further, you must even say goodbye beautifully. But the situation can develop in different ways:
- The guy can be configured to respond positively and actively to your messages, warming up the conversation;
- The guy may be reluctant and monosyllabic, ignoring some messages.
In different cases, the procedure will be different. In the first, one should, without stinting on warmth, wish good luck, a good day, or good night. After some long time of communication, you can even thank him for the conversation or individual events to which she led.
In the second, it is necessary to say goodbye even before the interlocutor shows obvious dissatisfaction with your attention. Alas, you are not interested in such a person. Do not waste your time on it.
Video chat with a guy: the intricacies of flirting and communication
Video chat is a cross between correspondence and meeting in reality. You still have the opportunity to interrupt the conversation or hide cheat sheets with questions under the keyboard, but you can’t hide your emotions and have a conversation in your favorite home retuses. Flirting with a guy in a video chat has its secrets and subtleties.
First of all, it is important to give yourself right. Clothing, accessories, cosmetics - softly, but original. Appearance should individualize you as much as possible: find your style and "highlight". It can be a shirt of your favorite football club, a delicate blouse, beautiful earrings or a bright scarf. Pay attention to the hairstyle - let it be neat, but laid-back, as if you dress like this every day, and not specifically for him.
Before you start a conversation, turn on the webcam and see how you will look in different poses. Choose the one in which your face is beaten from the best side - and sit while talking.
Where to look during a conversation with a guy is a more interesting question. If a girl looks at the camera all the time, the guy may feel uncomfortable because her gaze is constantly directed at him. Well, if a girl looks only at the screen, then the guy might think that she was fixated on his image, or, even worse, on her own.
Sitting properly, looking and moving is not all. You need to prepare for the conversation in advance: prepare a list of questions, topics for conversation, interesting things that you can supposedly remember and tell about when an awkward pause occurs. It is important to know what you can talk about with a friend and a guy that you like.
What to talk with a guy on a date?
A personal meeting is an important and responsible step. You should not decide on it if there were difficulties in communicating with a guy over the network. However, practice shows that sometimes people who talked for days on end in VK sometimes do not find topics for conversation in life, because everything has already been said in the correspondence.
When meeting with a person whom you do not know well, you need to be able to maintain a conversation and find common topics that have not been discussed previously.
There are seven indispensable rules of communication on a first date that will allow you to give yourself from the best side and be remembered as a boring and interesting conversationalist:
- Be natural and feminine, behave modestly and neatly. Talk calmly and openly, answering questions honestly, but not too frankly. Have confidence in yourself, but do not reveal all the cards at once.
- Look into the guy’s eyes, do not run your eyes and do not avoid eye contact. At the same time, do not look at him with a searching gaze. Do not be afraid to express your reaction with facial expressions, it allows the guy to understand that you are listening and hearing him.
- Keep up the conversation.If a guy says something, ask leading questions, clarify incomprehensible nuances, smile and laugh at his jokes. Do not be afraid to express your opinion if you think it is competent, and do not be afraid to change your point of view if the guy makes good arguments.
- Let a man be a leader - give him the right to choose a topic and start a conversation. But do not be passive, take the initiative on yourself at the right moments.
- Remember everything that the guy tells you - in the future you will be grateful to yourself for this.
- The first date is intended to study a person and his interests, so try to reveal it to yourself from all sides. Try to remember the topics, interests and hobbies mentioned by him, and later learn more about them in order to get closer on this basis.
- Avoid long breaks, maintain a conversation, ask questions, show that you are interested in the guy’s personality.
Do not talk on the first date on forbidden topics: relatives, illnesses, ex, past, failures and problems from life - all this must be left for later. It would be much better to talk about hobbies and entertainment, films, books, travel, sports, psychology, the latest news.
If the conversation does not add up, it's time to change the subject. If the topic is interesting only to the guy, you should not pretend that you like it too, he will quickly notice that you are bored. To quickly change the subject, ask an abstract question, tell a story that happened to you today, ask how his day went.
A win-win option in any situation is to recall a book or movie that you discovered most recently.
Talking about the emotions that a work of literature or cinema arouses in you, you will either provoke a positive reaction from him that will bring you much closer together, or a negative one that will allow you to develop the theme of the differences in your life positions.
Do not be afraid to experiment and take risks. People are completely different and what scares one leads to the delight of the other. And most importantly, if the conversation is good to start, then it will go on like clockwork, and if in the first days communication does not work out, then in the future, most likely, there will be nothing to talk about. Believe in yourself and do not be afraid to look for new!
