Families break up for various reasons. However, so far, one of the most common is treason. For one person, it becomes a cause of psychological trauma for many years, and for another - a chance to start a relationship anew. But as for one, and for another, such an act makes you think and change the attitude towards a loved one.
Why are men cheating?
Treason is different. It’s one thing when it happened by chance under the influence of alcohol at a corporate party, and another thing when a man changes constantly. The second situation is much more complicated.
The main reasons for male adultery include:
- Call of nature (thirst for testosterone). A man has ceased to do what he loves, sports and his body needs a new surge of emotions, which he seeks on the side in female attention;
- Bad Education.From childhood, the guy was deprived of attention. Parents took care of their life, ignoring the boyfriend's desires. Therefore, in adulthood, he seeks love and understanding from all sides;
- A woman is superior to a man.He ceases to feel like a male and wants to experience this feeling with another;
- Male loneliness.A woman is keen on children, hobbies and devotes all her time to it, not paying attention to her husband;
- Lack of sexual interest in the wife.She stopped flirting with a man, showing him that she was interested in her only as the father of her children;
- Change in the behavior of women.She began to grumble in any situation and be always dissatisfied with her partner;
- Lack of understanding.The woman and the man ceased to understand each other;
- Male self-affirmation.If a man did not succeed in life (lack of success in work), then with the help of adultery he wants to assert himself;
- The desire to try something new.The man’s life has become ordinary, and the same thing happens every day. From this he gets tired and he wants to experience new feelings;
- Transfer of responsibility.The partner cannot please the beloved and therefore expects some actions from her, but if they are not there, he begins to look for something new on the side;
- Temptation by a professional seducer.The man simply fell into the hands of an experienced lady who fascinated him with tricks.
Male adultery is basically a need for spontaneous and unplanned sex.
Why are women cheating?
It is generally accepted that only men change. The justification for this is natural polygamy. But in the modern world, where women compete with the stronger sex, they also go for treason, especially if there is a reason for this.
The main reasons for the betrayal of women:
- Sexual dissatisfaction. It sounds corny, but obvious. A woman can be satisfied with marriage everything except sex. But, for example, if there is no tasty food at home, a person goes to a restaurant. So with treason. If the house has everything but high-quality sex, a person changes;
- The emotional component. After the wedding, the woman’s heart is still emotional. It wants passion and great love. Therefore, falling in love with someone being married is a simple matter. Especially if, upon arrival from work, the husband falls in front of the TV, while her work colleague's eyes shine with just one look at her. For a woman, love is important. It is difficult for her to resist the person who desires her;
- Revenge. Women cannot forgive male infidelity. But if she still loves this man, she really wants and is trying to forgive. To live on with such a person, women decide on treason. Self-esteem in this case will increase and there will be no sediment on the soul. However, it is unlikely that after this the man will want to stay with such a woman;
- Third-party entertainment. This reason for adultery is more common in men, but some women are also prone to it. They cannot but change, as they are not able to abandon other pleasures of life;
- Fear to miss something. This "disease" has created a modern society. A person is afraid to miss something interesting and important. Indeed, it is accessible to some people, but not to others. Usually girls who have a single man are exposed to this temptation. Often the thought creeps into their head that this may not be the same man and that she misses a passionate life because of him;
- An accident. That case when it is forgotten in the morning. This happens, for example, after a drunken party. The fact is that remorse in this situation is practically absent.
These are the main reasons for the betrayal of women. But the essence may lie in another. Therefore, do not take them as a basis.
Is it possible to forgive treason?
Is it possible to forgive treason? This question is akin to the well-known phrase: “You can’t have mercy on execution”, in which the punctuation is completely dependent on each person. There is no universal recipe. To decide whether to forgive adultery, use a few tips below:
- Take the time out. Treason - mental painful trauma. Surviving it takes time (days, months, and sometimes even years). Do not try to fight in hysteria and cut off all relationships created over the years. Calm down first. You must think in cold blood to make the right decision. Take time for yourself. Go to the spa, take a few days off. If possible, change the atmosphere for at least one week. Embark on an unforgettable journey. Proper quality rest and new experiences will help to tidy up all thoughts;
- Examine the situation. Treason is treason. According to psychologists, hobby on the side is only a small part of the problem. Before forgiving / not forgiving betrayal, carefully study the problem and understand what causes contributed to the onset of this unpleasant event;
- Do not judge the other half. Do not constantly remind about treason. The episode of treason will have to be worked out and left behind, and not used as a tool to create guilt. The main task is not to decide who is to blame, but what to do in such a situation.
Only a strong person can forgive betrayal. But this can only be done if this does not occur systematically.
How to forgive a husband’s betrayal?
It’s hard to forgive a husband’s betrayal. The reasons why a husband can change are different. For example, because of a lack of love, or simply because a lover is younger. To understand whether you can forgive your husband for treason, you need to figure out the reason for the hobbies on the side.
It seems that an experienced woman is easier to forgive infidelity. This is not true. In fact, it is easier for a young girl to forgive betrayal when her love life is just beginning and she is full of hope for the future. A woman who lived with her soulmate for many years and having joint children considers infidelity the end of a love story.
Therefore, the first step to forgive betrayal is to accept it. You do not need to feel sorry for yourself. On the contrary, it is better to convince yourself of attractiveness.If the husband wants to make peace and return to the family, declare peace, but do not hide his pain.
Talking frankly
Another way to forgive a husband’s betrayal is to speak frankly. Third-party hobby is easily detected. The spouse himself can tell about the betrayal. If a woman is modest and quiet, she should become strong and a little angry. If she is aggressive, then you need to be modest and restrained.
In other words, surprise your soulmate with your reaction. If a man appreciates prudence in a woman, then the conversation should be like that. The main thing is to make him feel guilty in a conversation. This will be the punishment. No need to threaten that you too will change or, conversely, immediately forgive. This is not a way out of the situation.
Temporary breakup
It is impossible to forgive a husband if you see his face every day. Therefore, psychologists recommend living separately. If you have already packed, leave a reminder about yourself. Do not make your husband relax.
The main goal when leaving is to make her husband think about the situation.
If the family had a romantic relationship, cheating is easier to forgive. Usually such betrayals arise as a result of a quarrel or anger. It is advisable not to go to the parents. Better to travel. Children need to be taken with them. However, you should not hide your child from dad. A ride in his eyes should be presented as entertainment, not punishment.
Question about children
Children do not need to be used as weapons. Adult problems and adults to solve them on their own. But children are a highlight in a difficult situation. They will help mom to cope in a difficult situation.
A husband must be forgiven not only with words, but also with good shared memories. Everyone can make a mistake. Be sure to inform the child about the decision to stay or leave. If he is an adult, then he can draw conclusions on his own.
Love yourself
Uncertain women find it harder to forgive infidelity. After all, an attractive girl who is popular with the stronger sex is easier to deal with unpleasant feelings.
First of all, love yourself. Not as a mother or a successful career woman, but as a seducer. Easy flirting and compliments from other men will help you forgive cheating faster. No need to change. A conversation with an interesting person or dinner is not a betrayal. Prove to yourself that nobody is better than you. Even if you are not in the mood, dress nicely and meet friends.
Forgiving betrayal is not always necessary. Action should not be forced. For example, for the benefit of young children or because of a long relationship. If you can not forgive the betrayal and put up with the fact, it is better to leave. No need to be afraid of loneliness. After all, if a woman is confident in her abilities, successful and strong, she can fall in love again at any age. Accept treason as a sign from above. Start a new life. If you don’t feel like it, don’t forgive. Living without loving is worse than betrayal. But keep in mind that actions must be deliberate.
How to forgive a wife's betrayal?
All men are owners. They are sure that the wife should be only them. For most men, cheating on a wife equates to a massive disaster. If the fact of betrayal is confirmed, a huge number of questions arise in the head, the answers to which cannot be found.
Psychologists advice on how to forgive a wife’s betrayal:
- Pull yourself together. Cool and ponder the act of the second half;
- Do not question your wife in detail. This will greatly increase negative emotions. First, ask what that man meant to her;
- It is advisable to leave for a while. In this case, each of the spouses will carefully consider the situation and draw their own conclusions. The decision will come by itself: whether to forgive the spouse or not;
- Find the strength in yourself and only move forward. Understand the reason why the wife decided on such an act. Otherwise, the problem will not be fixed and you will have to leave;
- Have you decided that you are ready to forgive the betrayal? Take action.A long break can negatively affect feelings. Restore everything will be almost impossible. Meet in neutral territory, calmly talk and discuss how to proceed. Perhaps you need to start all over again, as if you were not married, there was no marriage and betrayal.
Forgive the betrayal of his wife, you decide. But if you still decided to maintain a relationship, you need to leave everything behind and never again return to these memories.
Life after the betrayal of a loved one
Life after the betrayal of a loved one is a difficult period, but it can be dealt with. Will have to suffer, without this in any way. However, according to psychologists, delaying depression is also not recommended.
It is also worth considering that most women are faced with this situation. If it seems to you that you are special, then statistics suggests otherwise. Most girls either have already experienced the fact of treason, or will survive in the near future. Even if you notice happy couples every day, this does not mean that they have not been cheated in their lives.
Tips on how to live after the betrayal of a loved one:
- Do not blame yourself for what happened.
- Engage in self-development.
- Travel a lot and chat with nice people.
- Forgive the cheating husband and live on.
Do not allow the thought that the lover is better than you, more beautiful and younger. She is the same as everyone. Your husband just liked the way she takes care of herself. He did not see how she looks when she comes tired from work, sick and exhausted in the first years of her child's life.
It depends only on you whether you want to maintain a relationship or let go and start life from scratch. Do not chop hot! Give yourself time to think it over.
