Self-confidence is a good character trait that moves a person towards a goal. But there are circumstances in life, in the occurrence of which even self-confident people feel constrained and embarrassed. This is a natural and normal process, but if it has become a habit, then you should reconsider your life. There is nothing unusual about this. But if a passing uncertainty has grown into a lifestyle, something needs to be changed.
Reasons for shyness
People are born without complexes, but they acquire them throughout life. Indeed, in the imaginary "I" there is only an ideal image that does not contain flaws. He must be perfect.
The main causes of constraint and self-doubt:
- Decreased self-esteem by parents at an early age;
- Indifference of mom and dad to the life of a child;
- Heredity;
- Inability to express in words your feelings and emotions;
- Lack of contact with peers in childhood.
According to psychologists and psychotherapists, insecurity and embarrassment form from childhood. Therefore, much depends on the relationship of loved ones and relatives. Phrases such as: “What stupid you are, hands grow out of nowhere,” add uncertainty and affect the human psyche. After all, the words of parents are the truth in the minds of the child.
Ambitious mom and dad develop shyness and thoughts about an unhappy fate in a child. The habit of being alone is preserved from childhood and negatively affects later life.
Get rid of shyness
According to all psychologists in the world, shyness can be eliminated from your life. To get rid of shyness, you need to follow some simple rules:
- Observe your own behavior. It is necessary to determine in which situations shyness is more pronounced and try to solve the problem;
- Define your perfect look. Stop being afraid of someone or not matching something. You are a person worthy of special attention;
- Analyze your claims to yourself. Examine the problem from the inside and open yourself to people;
- Accept yourself as you are. A calm vision of yourself will give you inner joy;
- A sense of humor helps get rid of uncertainty. Make fun of your shyness. Humor helps reduce tension and distract emotionally.
Based on the above recommendations, we can conclude that you can stop being shy with the help of several simple settings:
- Identifying strengths and weaknesses;
- Training self-esteem;
- Developing self-confidence;
- Learning how to communicate.
All your memories should only remind you of pleasant events. Self-knowledge will also help to stop being shy. You will study the problem and the events that made you self-conscious and shut out from people.
Remember that confidence is the best defense against others.
Moments of blows must be met with an energy shield that has been forged out of confidence. However, you should not turn into an insensitive person living in the rays of his charisma.
We identify strengths and weaknesses
Each person is unique with its own advantages and disadvantages. To stop being embarrassed, first of all, reveal what your peculiarity is and what is your weakness. For example, you should pay attention to the shortcomings that you need to fight before an important meeting with partners, friends and other people.
Weaknesses of the person with which it is necessary to struggle:
- Shyness;
- Indecision;
- Emotional stiffness;
- Rudeness;
- Timidity;
- Rudeness and so on.
During a conversation with your boss, you can talk about your own hobbies or about the family in which you grew up. Thanks to these factors, you can position it closer to yourself. He will know what to expect from you. In conversation, he will pay attention to your strengths, such as:
- Determination;
- Sociability;
- Diligence;
- Good faith;
- Responsibility;
- Discipline and others.
Understand what quality is strongest in your image and put emphasis on it.
We train self-esteem
Self-esteem is a slippery character trait. She is caught in the pace of speech, gestures, posture, in the perception of interlocutors and gaze. If you put any person in front of the mirror, he will name the shortcomings of his appearance and figure. The same thing happens in different fields of activity. But if appearance has been given to us from birth (not counting harmony, fit and sportiness), then we can change everything else.
If you know the problem in person, it can be solved. To develop further, you need to know about your shortcomings. Therefore, you need to follow certain rules:
- Respect and love yourself;
- Do not give room for self-destruction;
- Celebrate victory.
If you do not respect and value yourself, then no one will do this. To stop being shy, psychologists recommend that you stand at the mirror and train your self-esteem by repeating the phrases: “I am the most beautiful”, “I am successful” and “I will achieve everything I wish.”
To increase your self-esteem, do what you love.
Develop self-confidence
Confident people achieve their goals. Their additional advantage is that they are friends with their environment, and do not shun it. Therefore, in order to be sure and feel the inner strength of victory, regardless of what is happening around the situation, you need to believe in your abilities.
Did not develop such qualities in yourself? Use the tips below.
Think of happy moments
Surely in the life of every person, even insecure, there are moments in which there was a sense of winner. But it’s important to remember not just the event, but the feeling of that moment. Every detail is happening around.
Such an image should be clearly reflected in your memory. Thanks to such recollections, one can say to oneself: “If you succeeded earlier, why now it will not work?” Such a person will surely succeed.
Become a hero for yourself
Look around you. Surely there are idols in your life that you want to emulate. It can be characters from the media or a character from a book.
Analyze your favorite behavior. Try to follow his manners for a week, but do not adopt a completely alien image. In any situation, you must remain yourself and not be lost in the success of another person.
Gesture of success
All experiences within a person are perfectly reflected in his behavior, conversation and gestures. The characteristic of a self-doubtful person is a stooped back, an inverted head, a compressed body.
Don't want your body to betray your insecurity before you speak? Start changing yourself. This will take only a few minutes. Stand evenly, feet shoulder-width apart, shoulders straightened, take a deep breath and exhale, and then hold it for a few seconds.Focus on yourself, clear your mind of outside thoughts.
As a result, you will feel inner strength, confidence and the ability to maintain this image in your mind.
Learning to communicate
To overcome the fear of spontaneous communication, you must admit that it really is. Sometimes a person accumulates experiences inside, so as not to show his insecurity to the environment. Such an attitude towards oneself only exacerbates the situation. But if you talk with someone about your problems, it will certainly become easier.
The problem of communication with the environment will not be solved in an instant. It will take patience and perseverance in daily work on yourself. Only in this case there will be a result. Well-known psychologists recommend thinking less about their complexes.
Get distracted by the world around you. Look how handsome he is. Take a break from exploring your flaws and just go out with friends for a walk or take up a hobby.
How to stop being shy of the opposite sex?
To be shy of the opposite sex is absolutely natural. But only on first dates. When a relationship is established between a guy and a girl, you need to behave naturally. Do not pretend to be an ideal. Only in this case people will reach for you.
How to behave with a man when you are in a serious relationship? Do not start the conversation from afar. They don’t like that. Speak directly, otherwise they may run out of patience. Want to discuss an important event? Start right off the bat.
Take an interest in the affairs of the second half. The typical question “How are you?” Provokes an uninformative answer: “Normal.” Find out more details, ask about the little things. Do not avoid direct conversation. In the world, many couples broke up just because of the hints of a woman. Do not repeat their mistakes. Relations should be honest, and conversations specific.
How to overcome shyness in front of the public?
A modern business person should have such a skill as the ability to speak in front of a large audience. Many employees, because of their duties, often have to speak to the public. Communication is the foundation of business processes.
To stop shy from speaking to your audience, use the following recommendations:
- Understand what scares you. The problem of the person is that he is scared, not by the fact of public speaking, but by the reaction of the audience. You must convince yourself that people can benefit from your speech, which means they need you;
- Do not invent fears. Are you ready to speak perfectly and superbly in control of the topic? You have nothing to fear. Fear is a mechanism of protection from a situation. However, it must be perceived as a new challenge and motivation;
- Take it easy. Not everyone can see your inner excitement, so try not to think about the causes of shyness. Just start speaking and forget about fears;
- Improve your spoken language. There are many articles, books and professional trainings with which you can learn the right conversation, keep in touch, attract an audience;
- Analyze each subsequent performance. Ask someone to record a video of your performance. You can work out at home. Before you say anything to someone, speak for yourself;
- Smile Smile is the main weapon against fear. In addition, it will subconsciously arrange a part of the audience.
To overcome your insecurity before the audience, make sure that you know the material perfectly and are ready for any questions from the public. Your speech should not be boring and monotonous. Try to include a couple of quotes from famous people, jokes, stories from personal life. Self-confidence will help you stop blushing in front of the public.
Psychologists advice
Psychologists give a lot of advice on how to stop being shy. The most effective of them:
- Cleansing screen technique. Is there a negative experience in the past that makes you shy? Here is a simple solution.Close your eyes, imagine a screen on which there is an unpleasant scene. Turn away from him. Take a few breaths, then turn back to the screen and exhale slowly. Imagine the air washing away an unpleasant image from the screen. Do this exercise until the picture on the screen fades.
- Do not criticize yourself or others. Praise yourself and other people, accept everyone as they are. Learn to let go of unpleasant situations and forget the negative experience.
- Do not think that every single relationship is exclusive. Treat yourself easier. Do not immediately think that this is what you once dreamed about. After all, you will immediately want to become resourceful, smart, quick-witted and attractive for a person. Communicate for the sake of the process, do not chase the result.
- The interlocutor must be praised and interested in his opinion. In a personal meeting, by phone or in correspondence, you should often praise the interlocutor. He will be pleased, and you will understand that the situation is in your hands and you have nothing more to fear.
Use simple tips, do not criticize others and yourself, and you can stop being afraid of communicating with people and will easily overcome life situations associated with communication. You will cease to be shy as soon as you learn to accept yourself for who you are.
