The birth of a child is the decision of the parents. Why you can’t demand anything from children

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Photo source: womanway.ru

- Who will bring a glass of water in old age? - The child will bring!

Only those who say so do not think that helping parents is not an obligatory function of children.

We give birth to children not for personal gain, but for love, at our request, without asking and not being interested in the opinion of the future person. And demanding something from them later is not only pointless, but also mean.

I explain why.

Having a baby is a natural process.

Photo: psychologies.today

No need to demand gratitude from him for this. Women give birth everywhere. None of them are unique. Each child should understand that it is natural to bear and give birth to a child.

But then reproaching the baby with the fact that “I took you out, didn’t sleep at night, was malnourished” is simply silly.

These are the traditional responsibilities of every mother, and we all go through this.

Close family relationships are long and difficult work

Photo: live-and-learn.ru

You should not think that a child just because he was born in your family will already be attached to her. Relations between relatives are influenced by various factors, largely subject to us.

For example, the following is important:

  • Child education;
  • Requirements of parents;
  • Lack or presence of encouragement and attention;
  • The relationship between the parents themselves;
  • Influence from other relatives.

For family relationships to be close, you need to devote a lot of time to building them. Ride on joint trips, make decisions at meetings, celebrate holidays together, rejoice at each other's successes.

In the absence of close relations, one should not expect that in the future the child will be warm to his parents.

Parents' dreams belong only to parents

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A common misconception of many parents is that children will certainly achieve what they could not. In this way father or mother just shift their dreams to their own babyknowingly expecting success.

We sometimes do not think about what the child himself wants, whether he likes or not the activity that they are trying to impose on him.

Having been born, the child becomes an individual who, with growing up, has his own dreams and desires. Attempts to impose his own vision of life on him can turn into a scandal.

We must understand that a child is not required to bring our fantasies to life. The fact that we gave him this very life is exclusively our decision. In the future, he must make decisions himself.

When a child becomes the center of life

Photo: deto4ka.com

A lot of problems await children (including in adulthood) with a lack of parental attention. However, many are silent that hyperprotection is also the cause of a huge number of complexes and difficulties.

Moms who give all their time to a child, fixated on him and his upbringing, sometimes try too hard. And this hyper-custody can last until adulthood or old age.

How do children react to this?

They lack air, freedom. Children exposed to hyper-custody try to break free life, but do not. Why? Because they feel guilty.

I myself was a hyper-custody child, and I know very well how many problems and inconveniences this brings in the future. You feel sorry for the efforts of your mother spent on you, you constantly feel guilty of all sins, and you cannot build your own life.

It’s possible to break out of hyper-custody, but it’s a very complex and long process that costs many moral strengths and long work with a psychotherapist.

As a result: hyperprotected children do not feel any gratitude to their parents, only guilt and pain.

Source: econ-elit.ru

What we parents must remember when deciding to have children:

  • Children do not owe and do not owe us anything;
  • It is necessary to give children more freedom and choice;
  • Let them learn from their mistakes;
  • They need to be educated as independent and free personalities;
  • There is no need to demand anything from children in the future.

Each of their decisions to help us or not should be conscious and not imposed by the requirements of the parents. If they refuse - so be it, our upbringing is to blame for this.

Our love sometimes puts more pressure on the child than causes a desire to be closer.

Do you agree with my opinion?

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