Have you ever wondered why in other countries it has long been forbidden to even shout at children? Moreover, in the West they refused corporal punishment for children, but replaced them with other methods of education. And we need to take an example from them.
Why are screams and punishments worthless?
Previously, belt education was relevant, but now more and more parents are abandoning such methods. That's just such indulgence, too, does not end with anything good.
First you need to understand why screams and punishments are often useless?
- Bodily action causes a child resentment and, in order to take revenge, he is likely to repeat his misconduct;
- With shouts and punishments, the child does not understand the reason for this behavior and henceforth again makes mistakes;
- Violence breeds violence. Children subject to corporal punishment by their parents are much more cruel to others and aggressive;
- Negative influence leads children to the conclusion that they are not loved and they are not needed. This provokes a depressive state and psychological problems.
Moreover, the stress experienced by the child can provoke illness and weakened immunity.
Be that as it may, such parental behavior has an extremely negative effect. Children become hardened, do not understand the reasons for a bad attitude towards themselves, while continuing to commit misconduct purely out of principle.
And don’t forget, in the future the offended child may refuse to communicate with family. Or worse - will transfer this manner of behavior to their own children.
Ways to reassure a child without punishment
The problems of uncontrolled children have long been struggling in Europe and abroad. Moreover, they do this not by the classic Soviet method of “belt in a soft place”. So what are the most reliable and effective methods?
Accurate wording
Oddly enough, one of the most common reasons for misunderstanding on the part of children is the lack of an exact wording.
When a parent says, “Don't do this. You can not do it this way. Stop it. Behave yourself, ”the child simply does not understand why something is forbidden or imposed on him.
What should be done in this case?
If the child does not understand the reasons for the scream, then screaming is simply useless. Explain to him why he should not pull the kitten by the tail or touch other people's things. And if you instruct, then also specify.
For example, The phrase “behave yourself” should be deciphered as follows: do not run, do not scream, sit calmly, etc.
Calm in response to a tantrum
It is very important to keep calm and not break down on the child, even if he is behaving badly. This behavior will help prevent impending tantrum.
What to do?
Speak softly but distinctly. The tone is calm and even, the voice is firm. Look directly into the child’s eyes and slowly explain what the problem is.
Typically, this behavior is sobering, because the child needs to focus on what you say, and there will be no strength for tantrum.
Quiet environment for explanation
The moral teachings read out with a loud voice in the courtyard, which is full of other children and their mothers, will not bring a positive result. In this case, the child may have problems with socialization, he will be ashamed and he will begin to avoid communication with peers.
It is best to communicate with the child in a quiet and peaceful environment, where no one can interfere.
Take the baby to the side and say what is wrong in his behavior or if he needs to calm down. Promise that after that he will be able to return to the game.
We give free rein to the consequences
Sometimes we, our parents, no longer have the strength to deal with bad behavior. And the child continues to behave ugly. What to do in this case? Let the consequences happen.
Any bad behavior has consequences. So, if this is not a universal catastrophe, then step aside.
Give your child the opportunity to learn from their own mistakes!
This will not only be the right punishment, but also a good experience. Also in this way you accustom the baby to responsibility.
In fact, everything is quite simple, and it is not at all necessary to tear your anger out of the child. As the practice of Western parents shows, such decisions are most relevant for the education of modern children.
Are you supporters of reasonable explanations with a child, or do you think that screams are more effective?
