Have you ever thought that your personal qualities may be dangerous for the baby in the future? And this is not about something expressed or harmful at first glance.
Sometimes what seems natural and unimportant to us, even normal, can have a very negative effect.
Parental perfectionism can be especially harmful to a child.
Perfectionist parents try to do everything perfectly, and subsequently transfer these requirements to children.
What is the risk of setting such standards?
Complexes, low self-esteem, dependence on the opinions of others and fear of criticism!
A demanding parent sooner or later begins to transfer this character trait to his child. Often this happens completely unnoticed by the perfectionist himself.
What kind of mistakes in education does such a parent make?
- Makes a known winner out of a child
This happens during contests or competitions. The parent immediately adjusts to victory without being interested in the opinion of the baby. The main thing is to win, not even the thought that the child can take another place is allowed.
That is why in Western countries for small children (preschoolers and primary school age) games are not held in which they keep score.
- Does not perceive the child’s attempts to succeed in something
It would seem that every parent wants the child to succeed, and must support him in his endeavors. The only difference is that perfectionists do not even think that the child will not succeed something the first time.
In other words, the baby will not have a second attempt to realize himself in something. If it didn’t work out for the first time, there’s no point in trying - that’s the logic of perfectionist parents.
- It nurtures complexes in a child
Most often, children of perfectionists are exposed to many complexes related to their knowledge and skills. Others may even get sick after receiving psychological trauma.
Worst of all, childhood complexes are not immediately noticeable, but they have a huge impact on adulthood.
For example, a baby may begin to hide from surrounding people and limit communication with other children, because it believes that it is full of shortcomings.
From this comes the next point - the fear of condemnation.
- Teaches a child to be afraid
Well, why should a baby be afraid of perfectionists? Errors and failures. Here is the real fear of such children. As a result, the child, because of the constant fear of something to make mistakes or not succeed, does not even try to take on some kind of work.
In the future, the child may believe that the result of his efforts is not as good as it should be, or what others get.
Excuses: suddenly it doesn’t work out, suddenly it’s not of high quality, and if it comes out ugly / crooked, maybe I'm not ready? This inhibits professional development and does not allow people to break out.
I would like to note that all of the above does not apply to all perfectionist parents. Some raise children in such a way that in the end kids can achieve a lot in life.
It all depends directly on the parents themselves, their awareness of their own character traits and outlook on parenting.
