Treason of a woman is condemned much more than a similar act by a man.
If we abandon social stereotypes and look at the situation from a different angle, then behind the phrase “what to do - I cheated on my husband” you can see a lot of painful depth that arose before the fact of infidelity arose. How to survive a strange feeling and what to do next, read the article.
What have I changed my husband?
Until you rethink the betrayal - do nothing. With her confessions, a woman at the peak of emotions can destroy a marriage. And do not leave, because with any betrayal, two are responsible - the wife for the act, and the husband for the reasons. The problem is not with the woman (most often), but with the fact that family life has stopped developing.
The woman’s first unpleasant emotion, if she has changed, is the feeling of betrayal that family life will not be the same, if she will be at all.
Take a timeout and not rush to confess to your spouse, girlfriend or mother, otherwise reproaches, accusations and manipulations of guilt can not be avoided. A woman must understand the causes of the problem, understand what destroyed the idyll.
Why we change - the reasons for treason
Hundreds of different women on the forums ask psychologists questions about their betrayal, which boils down to a typical form: "What if I cheated on my husband, how to return his love."
The answer depends on the reasons that it is useful to know not only "harlots", but also men, in order to understand behavior and accept their part of responsibility.
1. Underestimated attractiveness or its complete disregard: if a man stopped looking at his wife as a woman, and sees in her only a “mommy” who feeds, dresses and chokes from the feat in the form of going to the supermarket. He should not take the position of a child. Sometimes she herself provokes such behavior by her hyper-custody, and there are cases when he simply has not psychologically grown to a relationship at the level of a mature man and woman.
2. The family is in crisis. The husband becomes distant, and the wife begins to look for a compensatory relationship. Such a situation is the result of the inability to share experiences, to open up, to take steps towards each other, to form “self-statements” without claims.
3. Treason as a way to bring emotions into the quagmire of married life. There is no entertainment, positive emotions, quality leisure and, most importantly, the development of relationships. A woman subconsciously drives a marriage into crisis in order to revive it, to awaken her husband from a lethargic dream.
4. Treason as revenge on a man for his adultery. “Why am I worse?” Or “I will avenge you” - such thoughts go to wives who have convicted their halves of a treacherous relationship. They want to hurt their spouse, to make them feel the same jealousy, but it turns out that now it has become worse, that the problem has not disappeared, but has worsened.
5. A banal case: often the cause of infidelity is the alcoholic intoxication of a woman, during which an attentive man appears with confident male behavior.In such a situation, it is impossible to think soberly and understand the consequences.
I cheated on my husband how to live on?
Treason to a husband brings a lot of confusion to the female soul: how to live on, the advice of someone to listen to - a psychologist, mother or girlfriend? Definitely a specialist, because he is not included in the situation, knows a lot about the causes and consequences, understands a woman, and does not make her guilty.
How to live further after adultery psychologist advice
The first - it is not necessary for your husband to know about this, if you were not going to take decisive steps in the direction of divorce before.
The second is to speak out, but better anonymously. For this there are forums, random fellow travelers and specialists in the field of family psychology.
The third is to forgive yourself: everyone has the right to make a mistake. You need to forgive not only someone, but yourself. Moreover, if this was one case, you continue to love your man - do not hurt your beloved man.
Cheated on her husband and he found out what to do?
“I cheated on my husband, he found out, I don’t want to lose him” - is this situation familiar? If a man finds out about cheating, give him time to survive the pain. The fact that now everything will not be, as before, is unambiguous.
Accept your part of the responsibility, but tell us the reasons. This approach helps her husband find the answer to the question “Why?”. Regret the action and ask not to take drastic steps.
It is possible that after this crisis you will start to meet each other faster than before. Consider male jealousy, his sense of betrayal and try to restore confidence. It may take years ...
Cheating on a husband - what to do if a husband cheated
The reverse situation - the man changed. Basic advice of a psychologist what to do if a husband has changed ”:
1. Do not do anything that will burn bridges, the main thing is not to change in retaliation because of "I can too."
2. Do not throw tantrums, but show all the pain, step back.
3. The main thing is to find in yourself the reasons why he began to do this. A woman indirectly, but provokes a man to betrayal. One of the reasons is the male instinct: the lack of sex or its quality provokes many husbands to seek joy on the side.
Husband changed how to live further advice to his wife
Immerse yourself in your pain, do not avoid it - this is a loss: the loss of the illusion of eternal fidelity.
Then stop paying attention to your spouse and start doing something for yourself - what you dreamed about: a new hairstyle, fitness, your own business, going to work, a hobby.
When you become interesting to yourself, you automatically begin to interest a man. And not only mine. And that, oh, how it raises self-esteem.
